Carolime Time

most of the time, i;ve looked at her with envy. i blow her off in a fit of spite, while admiring her from the corner of my eye. she’s everything i;ve wanted to be she’s everything im not. she does all the things i wish i could do, says all the things i’ve been unable to put into words. She has me rapt not with love or affection but with shock and jealousy. i used to hate her cause i was nothing like her for she was everythoing i wished i could be. the way she looked at the sky, the way her footsteps made a sound, the way she walked with direction, making heads turn from all corners and in all angles. the first time i saw her, i watched her. she watched me, too. we looked at each other knowing that we could either be the best of friends or the worst of enemies. she was my greatest competition at my prime, but i soon fell to the wayside, her longing spectator never asking for the time of day from her, i lost track of my schedule and soon lived by hers.
i’ve seen her grow, and even when she fell, her bruises made her beautiful. in fact she came out stronger, and i faltered in her shadow. i have taken from her and i’ll admit this…i need her. she has thickened my quest for survival, birthed and hardened my fearlessness and brought me back to life after being pronounced dead on arrival. i live for the day that she will notice me and learn from me.  till then, she is the force that lies behind my meager efforts at existence.

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Oh those 905ers. You’ve heard of them, you might know a few, you might have actually been one at some point…and they’re talked about far more than you notice. The term 905er has planted itself firmly in Toronto’s slang and in-the-cool jargon, especially in the  downtown core. But what exactly is a 905er and why is the term not exactly an acceptable one, and therefore not one to be associated with?

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I have been heatedly reading all the things said by our silly Immigration Minister, Jason Kenney, from his Twitter updates to his public statements. Though I am usually not impassioned by politics, I feel he is a threat to one of Canada’s major selling points, and one of the only reasons I was brought to this country—DIVERSITY. Oh, and freedom of speech. I officially have a vendetta against Jason Kenney, and put him at number 1 on my list of people that make me cringe and gag. Number 2 is Katy Perry. Their names even share a similar ring. Read the rest of this entry »

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As some of you may’ve heard, I was interviewed by Dan Delmar Friday night on CJAD radio, in Montreal. I love the guy, we go way back to j-school days at Concordia University, studying journalism. I mean, we are very different from each other in many ways but I think ultimately we share a strong friendship. Read the rest of this entry »

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There are parts of Dubai that have been left to the hands of suspended disbelief, a figure of development, capitalism, juxtaposed against a backdrop of browns, greys, and unending streams of men with the glaze of hard work on their faces. Read the rest of this entry »

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I’m finding it frightfully difficult to make time to write here, and find the time to sit down. I arrived in Sharjah, UAE, on Tuesday morning. I slept for the next 2 days, only waking early in the evening. The 9hr time difference definitely hit me hard and my jetlag had me disconcerted. I’m surprised and pleased that no medication or mutating internal time bomb has been created to cure jetlag. Pardon the imagination, I’m just on a bit of a Dubai conspiracy trip. There’s really nothing to it. It’s just the fact that this country, the UAE, has been masterfully organized and structured.

Each time I visit, I spend the first few days considering moving here. It would make sense. My two brothers live here year-round, I have more than a handful of friends and family friends, and my godparents are a welcoming, warm stand-in for local parents.  I have some job options, too. I’m tempted to look into them this week, but this is amid responses from friends such as, “I could never imagine you in Dubai, I am certain this country would kill your soul” and, “Don’t move here.”

Wow, huh.  So my first few days are always spent sorta enjoying the change in scenery, the sort of people I encounter, and my sensitivity to another style of living. But there comes a point where it all slips and it’s not that I don’t LIKE the country, I just get edgy and feel a sense of helplessness come over me. I’ll have to investigate it further.

At the same time, there is a lot of inspiration here for me in the writing of a neverending story. So much imagery, and I think I could benefit creatively, surprisingly, from this society that is the complete opposite to the undisciplined hullabaloo that is my Canadian life.

Anyway, my friend’s wedding has passed. It was fantastic!!! I think I was talking and dancing so much that I forgot to eat! Well, I know I ate a little bit. I always get very sentimental at weddings and this was no exception. Luckily it was just the reception and not an event involving heavy speeches and toasts. Otherwise I’d have definitely ruined my makeup!

My voice is gone, and I felt quite ill yesterday. It’s from all this drinking, I can’t handle alcohol two days in a row, let alone three.  But it’s in good fun.

My Lebanon plans are not taking form easily. It’s so frustrating, as all my family and friends are on my back not to go. Apparently I’m being very silly with the whole idea, according to my older brother and parents. I know others feel the same. What can I do? I am dying to go to Beirut and see the city and its surrounding mountains.

Lebanon has stated it has no involvement in the current Gaza incursions, and it will only respond to Israel’s attacks–which will not happen since their hands are currently full with Gaza. Not only that, but a Hamas spokesperson said that none of Hamas’  battles will be fought on other Arab soil right now, and it is trying to keep it in Gaza but is not surprised by the reactions of other Palestinian groups in surrounding Arab countries. I really don’t see anything else happening, and the friends I’ve asked from Middle Eastern media think that a trip to Lebanon right now is not a bad idea. sigh.

* I don’t know what to do*…and so, I will go ramble around town, maybe shop, maybe sit at a restaurant or cafe, take my book, and hope something clicks together in my mind.

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I have been in Winnipeg for the past few days, and finally had the chance to watch a movie from the Aboriginal Film Festival that opened here on the 19th of this month. With the booming native population in Canada, and Manitoba in particular, I thought this would be the ideal environment in which to catch a film pertaining to this huge, complex community.

I saw “Older Than America, “ a film based on true events surrounding the controversial residential school system for which North American governments and churches were once notorious. Set in a reserve town in Minnesota, the community is a mix of natives and settler Americans. The storyline surrounds the dreams and nightmares of the main character, Rain, who is witnessing her mother’s painful residential school experiences. She is also seeing spirits, whom she mistakes for ghosts at first. Having lived through a residential school upbringing and later being placed in a mental asylum, the mother cannot offer any answers to Rain. She comes head to head with her Aunt Apple for her involvement in committing her mother, and the lingering presence of Apple’s priest-friend in the shadows. The film offers uninhibited finger-pointing at the Catholic Church for its involvement in covering up residential school abuse and crimes. Rain must face and conquer the secrets of her mother’s past. She must seek out the meaning to her dreams and encounters, and eventually faces the same doom as her mother.  “Older Than America” promises stirring, dark images of abuse and overt racism. At the same time, it is not overdramatic and unrealistic. The film embraces the subtle nuances of native culture and spirituality, from impromptu community social circles in someone’s front yard, to forgiveness circles and sweat lodges.

This is a really important film for Canadians and Americans to watch. The fact that history books were teaching me indigenous peoples are savages, at least ten years ago, is reason enough. Canada and the US, in addition, have only grudgingly adhered to Indigenous Rights (in the most basic form) as evidenced by a “No” vote during proceedings for the United Nations Declaration of Indigenous Human Rights last year. There is little notice or attention given to the indigenous experience. The term ‘residential schools’ is not clear to many North Americans today. We are very well-educated on major genocides everwhere else, of course, but I think it’s just as important that we become educated on a situation and community that is so close to home. It could spur a lot of necessary discource on why native people make up such a large number of homeless people on our streets. The fact that suicide is in abundance on reserves, with one quote stating tonight that Amnesty International believes the Native American suicide rate to be 6 times the national average, should be looked at more critically. I hear people scoff at native drug abuse, poverty, and laziness, without much understanding of the native struggles and oppression. When one Indian immigrant to Canada tried to remind me of this, I asked, how would you feel if your daughter was taken away from you to learn a different language and religion, and abhor all things you taught her?

This sort of experience is actually shared with those who have faced physical and  emotional abuse, as well as identity loss and transgenerational trauma that has carried on among indigenous communities today. During her Q & A following the film, lead actor and director Georgina Lightening referred to it as 500 years of genocide that has left a lasting effect. “Older than America” is an ideal introduction to the compleixities of the indigenous struggle, as well as the actual culture, though each differs according to community and tribe.

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Due to a lack of time and perhaps valuable inspiration, I am posting this essay I wrote last year that I found while crying poverty…tee hee

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Four years ago, in 2003, one could enter Concordia University’s pub, Reggie’s, and be greeted by a barrage of cigarette smoke, wafts of beer-laced breath, and colourful political banter. With eyes ablaze, accents in tow, and historical references galore, students would engage in debate over the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. The exaggerated hand movements and raised voices were not confined to youthful idealism, but would continue into the dark cafes and greasy diners, where vegans, artists, and refugees still gather to analyze government conspiracies and plot intricate performances garnered toward the attention of the public. An evening out on the town could consist solely of people watching, and eavesdropping, in this case. The passion bred in these actors is not written from fiction or for the entertainment of the public.

Perhaps it’s Quebec’s history of activism that breeds such fervent political and social awareness. The Quiet Revolution, language issue disputes, and student riots on tuition freeze are just a handful of the movements performed by citizens in maintaining self-rule and the freedom of thought, with many of the demonstrations conducted during these times leaving their mark simply due to their theatrics. This mentality of bringing change to ones environment seems to rub off even on the newcomers to Montreal, and those in transit.

A protest, also known discreetly as a demonstration, is defined by Wikipedia.com as a “relatively overt reaction to events or situations: sometimes in favour though more often opposed.”[i] The Wikipedia.com definition comes in handy solely because it is contributed to by those around the world who agree with its meaning, and protests have proven useful internationally. Rallies remain a means of expression and influence, for it is people and numbers that attempt roles as persuaders and changers of their environment. It involves direct action rather than promised action in the form of elected representatives and often-inconclusive legislation.

Montreal activists take demonstrations to all time creative highs, employing inexhaustible methods of performance and entertainment from all venues of art, technology, and traditional political maneuvers used in creating a bustle. There is no such thing as bad publicity is a common chant that rings through private meetings in activists’ living rooms. In the practices of German dramatist Bertolt Brecht, the suspension of disbelief is abhorred. It requires the surrender of the critical self to the entertained self, and forces the idea that something fictional is the truth. Surrendering to the suspension of disbelief opposes Brecht’s plan for the audience to defamiliarize themselves from the issue and look at it from a critical point of view[ii].

In the activist core, there is a distance between the victim and the sympathizer. The sympathizer is the activist. Though it is common for the person holding out flyers and marching with a poster to be directly affected by an issue, one aspect of Montreal’s political activism style is the tendency to defend an issue from a distance, and take on the role of saviour. This is due to the fact that the city hosts such diverse ethnic communities with roots and family in places with less autonomy. It is also aided by a large post-secondary student community that is mostly composed of youth from a more privileged upbringing.

In Brecht’s Epic Theatre, it is important to detach oneself as the actor from the topic. By retelling a true story in the form of a witness account, the audience is reminded that the performance is one created to educate and not to entertain[iii]. The clever thing about demonstrations and protests is that there is not as much necessity for the actors to break the tempting fourth wall. It is already understood by the public and viewers that the accounts they are witnessing, whether accompanied by theatrics or not, is in fact someone’s truth and opinion. The guerrilla aspect of taking the public unawares in an open setting allows for no opportunity to delve into suspended disbelief. Like Brecht’s use of alienation effects such as screens stating captions, performers in a street demonstration will hold up posters of propaganda and hand out flyers. The audience does not have to pay for a ticket to the show, and they do not sit in a theatre watching a stage. Real, live, unconventionally ready actors assail their viewers with ideas.

There are numerous similarities in the mannerisms of modern day Montreal activism and the methods utilized in Brechtian theatre. The alienation effect and breaking of the fourth wall are key in Brecht theatre and demonstrations[iv]. It allows for the audience to confront themselves with the truth of the matter. The techniques can backfire, though, when the public is exposed to advertised dramatics from an activist.

In 2005, for instance, Montreal writer and activist Yves Engler decided to call attention to the Canadian government’s involvement in the coup of Aristide, Haitian president, and training of Haitian police. At the Montreal Conference on Haiti, he approached the Foreign Affairs Minister Pierre Pettigrew with red paint, shouting “Pettigrew lies, Haitians die.” This hit national airwaves, while the basic link between the violent conduct of Haitian police and the RCMP was related back to Canada[v]. This sort of civil disobedience could lead to police intervention, but Engler later released two books and continued to write for the alternative press, along with the Globe and Mail.

This makes one wonder, is the message being set across to the public? True, it did reach national attention, and it did create a moment of confusion in a government setting on the contentious issue. But the question remains, will the public connect the dots? Pettigrew was not involved in a reenactment, and was not taking part in this exposé by choice. In this case, the theatric elements of the stage took precedence over the message behind it. It makes one cover their mouth with muffled laughter, but does it really create a stir to action? Pictures were taken of Pettigrew getting splashed with fake blood, but not enough was said about the reasoning behind it. The use of an object, here, is also uncommon from typical protests. The bare minimum is kept to in protests, with exceptions regarding posters and self-adornment. Messages are relayed via sound and visuals. This splashing of a prop, a fake blood, brings in a sort of dishonesty. It tarnishes the reputation of activism in that demonstrations typically speak the truth, and an unnecessary substance is being brought on the scene.

At the same time, there is an element of celebrity to these acts. Engler’s name has been all over the news, and his pictures have been seen in Montreal papers in regards to his arrests and suspension from Concordia University. In 2005, he released two books, one titled “Playing Left Wing: From Rink Rat to Student Radical”. The other was written about Canada and Haiti. “Playing Left Wing…” does raise some eyebrows, though. It outlines Engler’s switch from star hockey player in BC to star activist in Montreal. Born around approximately 1979, Engler offers a whole lot of aged understanding for a twenty-six year old. After his conversion from jock to radical, he was involved in the Netanyahu riot that took place at Concordia in 2001. Having been thereby kicked out, did Engler switch roles from one celebrity status to another? This is not to say that Engler isn’t truly interested in world affairs, and that he is an actor without a driving force beyond rebelling against the system. In “Playing Left Wing…” he admits that “…activism has required people who are willing to dream, to discuss and to act. Those who have done this have given humanity so much.[vi]” His ability to represent his beliefs is admirable. His ideals are strong, and for some, it’s just a matter of meeting their calling. It is important, though, to recognize the status given to the performers of activism.

Students and citizens are accustomed to raising their voices and making their message known. The outcome is often successful, and sometimes dramatic. The streets and public spaces become their stage. Elaborate sets are created and structures accompanied by poster propaganda are designed for viewers and passersby. The visual appeals of these assemblies draw crowds and interest, as questions and fascination with theatric elements such as makeup and costume create an audience.

Critical Mass is an international movement that began in 1992, in San Francisco. It is a gathering of bicyclists supporting the right to freedom of public space and the denunciation of cars, pollution, and automobile collisions[vii]. In the fall of 2006, Critical Mass Montreal organized a huge bike meet die-in for Car Free Day. A die-in is when protesters pretend to be dead in order to call attention to a problem. Footage of this event portrayed young people with torn clothing, pale powdered skin, and blood streaks across their face. This time, they were protesting the dangerous results of automobiles in their space. The streets were blocked off in the busy Rene Levesque and University area of downtown Montreal for a short period of time, and the actors lay down on the road while a man on a loudspeaker stood on a pedestal. These were not trained performers, but those who gathered monthly along with Critical Mass in solidarity with the movement.

The use of the body in the case of this Critical Mass performance is resourceful. It is not a risky space, in that the police have helped block off the roads for these rights of expression. It is in the practice of performing death and calling attention to a cause with such morbidity and realism. It’s not in the same style of Brecht or documentary makers, but it has its own advantages. It’s eye-catching, and personal, in that the victim of a car accident could be any of those bodies lying on the road. Some of the performers also chose to rest with their bodies frozen mid-action, entangled in their bikes. These tableaus, which included contorted faces, were moving and curious for the average person.

In Montreal, a typical Critical Mass callout is made for the last Friday of every month to cyclists and allies to take part. The number of people involved could reach a count beyond fifty. Police usually don’t interfere with the event, but keep a close watch. They are aware that the collective isn’t aiming towards anything hugely political. Certain forms of activism and protest are to make a statement rather than to invoke a serious change. Critical Mass is conscious that they will not force the withdrawal of technological forces from society, such as traffic lights and use of automobiles. It is simply to remind people to look at themselves more closely, and their rights.

In the performing arts, an actor is taught to dissect their script and character. The super-objective of the play and the minor objectives of the individual must be noted, as should the obstacles that prevent the character from receiving what they want. In a play, there are always things that stand in the way. It is this action that keeps the audience in tune with the events that take place onstage. Similarly, an activist or protest calls for a breakdown of a problem, and lay out on how to solve it. Some demonstrations are long-term efforts at swaying political or corporate entities, while others are enacted at the point of controversy.

There are certain issues that can surely be altered by narrowing in on the public, word for word. Besides the process of handing out flyers and yelling homemade chants, there is also the notion of direct persuasion. When attempting to change a government or corporation’s stance on an issue, it may involve gathering enough troops to write letters to a local MP. A huge goal of a demonstration is to garner numbers to take part in meetings and organizing. Existing members who’ve been involved in breaking down the problem and forming a plan of action will continue in public displays of embarrassment, which is sometimes all it takes to get the ball rolling. It forces a company or ministry of the government to appease the public when they start questioning loud and shameful claims made by protestors. These are also audience-interactive techniques that offer a closer look at our surroundings beyond the surface.

Since May 2007, the Coalition Against Israeli Apartheid (CAIA) has been gathering in front of Chapters and Indigo bookstores in Montreal. The owners, Heather Reisman and Gerry Schwartz, are donors to Heseg, also known as the Lone Soldiers fund. This is a section of the Israel Defence Forces military, which has been deemed one of the main problems for Palestinians[viii]. It is not surprising that so many of the Middle Eastern discussions take place in Montreal, where the Canadian Jewish population is second only to Toronto[ix]. The Arab community is estimated around one hundred thousand people, and added to by the steady flow of French-speaking North African and international Arab students[x]. Though neither community can be grouped into opposing politics, it is these blurred lines that can spark the uprisings where the numbers are large enough to make a difference.

These demonstrations in front of such a huge chain of stores could be highly detrimental to the corporation’s revenue. Over the picketing period in front of the store, which numbers more than two hundred locations across Canada, CAIA members and supporters approached those entering the store to educate them on Israel’s wrongdoings. They would tell them not to enter the store and to not buy items from the store until the owners withdraw their funding from Heseg[xi]. This sort of aggression could be considered excessive, but it only takes place in certain circumstances. The use of the storefront as a space to get the message across is brilliant in that they manage to develop a gathering from people who are indirectly involved in the problem they are addressing. Their audience is built specifically of those who can affect the issue of the Israeli military’s funding. With a shopper’s disdain, the store would feel the heat eventually and have to change its behaviour.

A performer is not someone who takes a script, memorizes it, and rehearses for weeks on end. Nor is a performance simply a matter of inducing laughter, tears, or a brainwave of philosophical thoughts. There are those who perform to entertain, and others who perform to educate. These two facets are interchangeable, complementary, and can form a goulash with other theatrical elements. Demonstrations and protests have existed from as far back as the 16^th century, and that’s only if western historical forms of revolution are being looked at. These risky endeavours, where ones reputation, future, and self are on the line, are investments. They can lead to glory, recognition, and a name that draws immeasurable results on an Internet search engine. But they can also be a step towards change, a self-gratifying reminder that time has not gone wasted.

Activism and protests are often viewed as hippy dealings, and of no use. However, if it weren’t for the inspired and imaginative techniques used by those who took on such responsibilities, the rights we take for granted today would not be as accessible. Consistent analysis of what works on the public, and what doesn’t, has allowed for complex developments in performance methods and human relations. The ability and choice to question ones environment, to discuss the politics and human rights violations of a society, and to strike back at them, has not always been present. In fact, without the investments of activism and its commitment to the stage, there would be far less breathing room, and even less space to perform our own personal, daily acts.

http://hsc.csu.edu.au/drama/hsc/studies/brecht/2758/Brecht.htm

[i] Wikipedia entry: PROTEST: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protest

[ii] Dawson, Jeffrey. Brecht. HSC Online. http://hsc.csu.edu.au/drama/hsc/studies/brecht/2758/Brecht.htm

[iii] Dawson, Jeffrey. Brecht. HSC Online. http://hsc.csu.edu.au/drama/hsc/studies/brecht/2758/Brecht.htm

[iv] Dawson, Jeffrey. Brecht. HSC Online. http://hsc.csu.edu.au/drama/hsc/studies/brecht/2758/Brecht.htm

[v] 06/18/05. “Canada Acting Badly in Haiti, Protestor Claims”. http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2005/06/18/pettigrew-painter050618.html

[vi] Engler, Yves. Excerpt from book, “Playing Left Wing: From Rink Rat to Radical”. Fernwood Publishing Co, 2006. Found in Rabble.ca, “In His Own Words: If we had no activism”. March 02, 2006.

[vii] Montreal Critical Mass Website. http://www.crasseux.com/criticalmass/

[viii] Eichner, Itamar. “Pro-Palestinian groups call for boycott of IDF donor”. Ynetnews.com. 05/15/07. http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3400055,00.html

[ix] Statistics Canada 2001 Census http://www40.statcan.ca/l01/cst01/demo30b.htm

[x] Statistics Canada 2001 Census http://www12.statcan.ca/english/Profil01/CP01/Details/Page.cfm?Lang=E&Geo1=CMA&Code1=462__&Geo2=PR&Code2=24&Data=Count&SearchText=montreal&SearchType=Begins&SearchPR=01&B1=All&Custom=

[xi] Fraser, Dylan. “Demonstrators throw the book at Chapters.” http://thelink.theorem.ca/view.php?aid=39197

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I went to the Inside Out film festival showing of “Beirut Apt” here in Toronto, today.

It was playing at the Isabel Bader theatre, and was up for the Audience award…so I paid even more attention, since I knew I’d have to sign a ballot with my opinion when I left.

The doc was short, it was less than an hour long and it flew by. I think it was well-put together, considering the subject of Israel and Lebanon has been thrown around a lot in documentaries. Though, the issue of homosexual Arabs is not really an openly discussed subject.

I liked that the doc was short, I liked that it hit a lot of specific points along a surface, and that it packed it all into a 50min set. I’m sure they could’ve come up with more and probably lost a lot of footage in editing, but the goal of some documentaries is to create curiosity, to strike a person’s interest or fancy..It’s something I’ve always found in film docs—you have only so much of a person’s time, and every frame has to strike a chord of some sort. People are so  quick to get distracted, as it is.

So the characters in Beirut Apt are nothing special. That’s what it is –they don’t have big names, they didn’t pour out their hearts or have dramatic, intense moments with the camera..on the contrary, they just spoke in a very conversational manner about their encounters as gay, lesbian, and Lebanese individuals. It just leaves more doors open for the viewer to RELATE to the subject when they don’t go in too deep, I think, sometimes. It’s a little like small talk–surface conversations are just easier to steer.

That’s not to say the viewers are comfortable and not moved to question the issues at hand. In fact, things are said so lightly and simply by the subjects that you may brush it off and laugh. The end of the movie, with the last, most poignant subject, really tied things together. There were some excellent aesthetic qualities to this film, once again simple and not in-your-face.

And upon discussing the politics of the documentary, which was possibly the most important (”everything is political”, even if i don’t want it to be!!:))  aspect, I have been enlightened on a few things re: class structures and how they manifest themselves in the film and its interview subjects. Beirut Apt. features members from a spectrum of classes.

For more info, check out:

  http://www.myspace.com/thebeirutapt

http://beirut.helem.net/

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the most precious statement made in “Unaccustomed Earth”, by Jhumpa Lahiri, is the comparison of death to a dark room in a photo lab. “It must be something like this”.

I would hate to look at a picture of a person I’ve been close to, who’s died. All memories of them would dissipate, expressions, laughter in motion, frowns and facial flaws and reactions, to be replaced by the frozen, faded and distant perfection of that photo.

i resist this lump in the back of my throat, and i pretend i haven’t let go.

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