reading
| May 11, 2008 | Posted by caroline under arts and literature, dreaming, personal, storytelling, theories, Uncategorized |
i’m fairly smitten with milan kundera. i am not smitten by him the way i have been caught up in a fine balance, or shantaram, nor the way i whizzed through jhumpa lahiri and unaccustomed earth..they’ve got nothing on him. i wouldn’t say i’m drawn to him the way i was intrigued by gabriel garcia and immediate host to gallons of respect for his compassion.
i would compare my reaction to kundera’s ‘immortality’ to the same weak-in-the-knees, to-be-left-alone shyness, willingness, and vulnerability i sensed in myself when reading the ‘intimacy’ compilation by sartre. elements of my short but intense relationship with ‘wicked’ by gregory mcguire….quick but never forgotten and forever touched upon in a positive light. triggers to my growth and dog-eared pages of notable points in my book-reading career. no, it’s hard to fall in love..and it happens so rarely that when you’re in it, you don’t want it to end, even though it must. i’m not the sort that wants to read book after book of one author after i fall in love with the first. i would hate to compare one with the other. but i am a slow reader when i sense an immediate connection. i want to write down everything they say, i take pauses and savour the words, the structure of thoughts and the immensity of what my lover is saying. i re-read sections within minutes, touching upon them over and over again. sometimes, when i am with a mortal lover that i can’t get enough of, i write down the things they say on a napkin beside the bed. but with a book, you can turn the page back, and no one will know you’re so love-struck. it’s all between the pages.
why do i feel so strongly about some books, and not others? i could quote kundera and support my statements..but i think it is that i see elements of myself manifested in the thoughts of these writers..that they could see right through me, and humans in general, is so profound that i believe them to be demi-gods.
so why would i read them slowly, and why would i not race to read their next book? i think love, when it nears its end, is the sweetest tragedy. best contained in its past. to read another book by the same person, with a completely different goal, time, place..could lead to a complete disconnect that may dissolve all previous . the same person i was in love with a year and a half ago is my friend today, and will never be my lover again. the person/book/place you fall in love with can come at the right time, fitting into you perfectly and clicking in place. sometimes you carry on this romance until it ripens into a sweet forever. but a lot of the time, relationships are meant to stay in their place. a book does not change with time, as people are so prone to doing.
