network site obituaries
| September 26, 2007 | Posted by caroline under personal, technology, theories, Uncategorized |
I have this really strange habit i’ve been meaning to talk about.
well, maybe I just think I should talk about it.
I see dead people.
Ok, no. But really, I look at things having to do with dead people, a lot.
I’m especially attracted to the news articles surrounding the sudden death of a person. I google when I hear or see a name associated with an RIP.
It kinda creeps me out.
It’s the reason I’m late to meet up with my friends sometimes. I get so caught up in the story of how they passed away, what the suspicions are around their deaths, and what people are doing to solve the crime. If it’s a natural death, or a disease (natural?), I tend to look for dedications to these people. Be it in picture format, letters, or webpages.
Mind you, I am more drawn to the stories of people I might pass on the street than those of celebrities. Maybe it’s a way for me to immortalize these lives?
I also get caught up in the way people die.
Not so much diseases, but more controlled deaths. I don’t care about guns and knives. I once found a site with a hundred of the best ways to kill oneself. Gosh, I’m gonna sound really morbid, so I won’t even tell you which one sounds best.
Besides, I don’t condone that.
anyway, the one thing I watch is the slow deterioration of a person’s life.
I look at pictures from childhood to their last breath.
I don’t know, I don’t know why I do it.
It disturbs me, because I feel like it’s unfair to that person who’s passed away, that I’m using their pictures and life this wayy. But I am not relieved in any way. If anything, I do it to try and remind myself that I need to look after myself. And that I should be grateful for all I do have.
I read stories that people write around someone they’ve lost.
I guess it’s loss. I’ve never lost anything or anyone. I would hate to, but I try to prepare myself for it vicariously. And there are some people who truly know how to express themselves when they’ve lost…so I read.
From the website dedicated to Zhu Ling…
“She was fastened in a wheelchair. Her legs looked stunningly skinny. Her tarnished eyes stared into space without any youthfulness. She tried hard to look, but she was not able to see much. Mom asked her to pass some snacks to us. ZHU Ling labored her curly fingers to pick up a little box and stretched her arm forward. But she couldn’t find where we were. I took a piece of cracker from the box. It tasted bitter! I simply could not hold the tears in my eyes.
While she can still chew when Mom fed her, her severely Thallium-poisoned nerves were no longer able to fully control her oral muscles and saliva often dripped out of her open lips. She was quite cranky that day. Perhaps she heard our conversation and sensed something. She constantly yelled ah ah ah, frantically letting out some loud cry. The words were so vague that we could hardly distinguish. All these efforts of expressing her agony and frustration turned out to be futile.
There must be some vague memories about that horrible incident left in her chaotic and obtuse brain. She might be aware that something terrible happened to her but she could not tell what it was.
What a devastating scene! She cannot speak. Neither can she see. Her hands, a slender pair that used to nimbly dance upon a piano keyboard, now curl up together and can only knock down the keys one by one. How can anybody not be struck, not feel the pain, and not condemn the shameless criminal!”
… …
http://www.helpzhuling.org/english.a
