Carolime Time

I feel like I should write something about Michael Jackson before I bury it. When I first heard, I didn’t really digest it. I didn’t think of the hours upon hours I used to spend listening to the “Bad” album, or the first taping of my voice with my brother singing, at 4yrs old, ‘mama se mama sa ma ma coo sa, [wanna be startin somethin]’ or the countless videos I watched of his, the times I’ve broken it down to his stuff and simply used him as an inspiration for all things dance, expression, vocal…lyrical..he was a true performer, as seen in every single one of his massive hits and the not so magnified, low-profile tunes.
Just a few weeks ago, I was cruising around with the same now-scratched “Bad” CD of my childhood blasting, thinking simply of how each one of his songs is charged with energy, creativity, oomph! Which other artist in his time, and even now, comes with such a complete package of talent and entertainment?
Now, as I type, I watch his videos in the background of my text box. Who else can do this? Which other artist can take each of these songs and throw themselves so much into a song that they sing it like the world depends on it, that they dance like their bodies were born to be seen? God, I listen to it, I listen to Smooth Criminal, The Way You Make Me Feel..and I wonder if anyone else can ever put together such a portfolio where every song is a dramatic short film, containing so many layers of charisma and complexity.
If there was one person meant to be a star and a feast for the hungry, it was this man: More than all of my most favoured musicians, as he was not a leading man in my later musical growth. Actor, performer, dancer, singer, all in one.
I really did want to be him when I was little, tried the moonwalk (which really only ever came close to working on hardwood floor)…Where did he learn such moves? I gotta say it’s bloody hot. I propose these questions because there is no answer. There is no artist post-Beatles/Elvis that has met the standards Michael Jackson set and cemented.

At the same time, when I first heard about his cardiac arrest, my immediate thought was of Elvis Presley. After I got over my Michael Jackson, Madonna and Whitney Houston phases at 8yrs old, I soon moved to Elvis Presley, who shared the longest tenure in my musical obsessions, alongside Kurt Cobain. I thought of how Elvis spent his last years in an artistic drought, looking for any backdoor entrance back in, festering and getting desperate but still brimming over with the want, the need to perform as long as there’s an audience, boundless talent and a magical hold over audiences. I remember watching Elvis’  last shows on TV (they always played them around his birthday–Jan 8th–and the anniversary of his death–Aug 16–dates I always remember). He was soft, bumbling, blubbery, but there was so much more to observe in him in his old age than in his shiny, youthful days. He had experienced so much by the time he was 40, having risen and fallen, burned out and sat on the brink of fading away. And he tried. Watching these two performers is all very heartbreaking.

Let me close off by linking a further source that opened these memories for me: Lisa Presley’s Blog entry on her relationship with Michael Jackson and her comparison of him to her father

read comments (0)

I thought I’d share my views on The God of Small Things, a book I just finished reading last night after a long stretch. Written for the purpose of Facebook’s Visual Bookshelf.

“This is the sort of book that slowly weighs down on your mind and heart, kinda like the moth that figures so prominently in its pages. Roy’s writing takes some getting used to, it’s very quirky, but once you’re thinking like her and her characters, you’re in for the long run..a large portion of the book surrounds two children, the epitome of innocence and curiosity. Roy’s technique here is to use descriptions and comparisons that a child might innocently assign to an idea or experience. When it comes to the less than honourable adults, she is unsparing in describing their worst and rarely their best and if so, indirectly. The writing here was slow and patient in telling the trials and dramas of this family, much of which I’m sure is based on fact considering I myself have seen some of these familial mentalities manifest in my circles. i found this very powerful in not just bringing uneasy topics close to home but in making me think from the point of view of the vulnerable and weak. All in all, i thought this was clever, playful, possessing many levels of personality..beautifully written, a pleasure to read..”

I know, it took me forever to read this. I’ve been dragging it around to hair appointments, buses, casinos and swimming pool chaises, but I’ve only finished it now. Mind you, I have been reading “The Element” (Sir Ken Robinson) and just lately, “Shock Doctrine” by Naomi Klein. So I’m allowed to be a slow reader:P Anyway, I only REALLY got into the book in the last 100 pages. It’s only about 337pg to begin with. What I really liked about this book is that it wasn’t unbelievable. The writing style really took some getting used to, in that it was so child-like that I sometimes just stopped and frowned at the words, like is she serious? Does she live in a fairytale world? But her use of choppy, internal thoughts actually created such an image in mind that makes it easy to get immersed and tied up in the characters’  lives. I’m ten years late in reading this book (first tried when I was 14) but I am glad I did it! I am putting on my bookshelf beside other favs including Immortality (Kundera) and Intimacy (Sartre).

read comments (2)

i live in this large world of expansive green, grey and brown.

fruits litter my path and i lean down,

bending at the waist to bob for them headfirst.

i suck them sweet and dry to the seed,

pelleting them out by the teeth.

i continue my jaunt, sometimes stroll,

sometimes sprint

against none other.

i come upon rocks

and place the minerals under my tongue,

where they spur the onset

of thirst-quelling properties and relief.

i survive.

i spit them out

and they land along the side

of forgotten cores and hearts.

read comments (0)

Sitting on the patio at O’Grady’s, in Toronto’s Church and Wellesley neighborhood, also known simply as the “village”..a friend asked me who my favourite directors are. Earlier in the evening, upon being reminded that I’m an actor, she asked me if I could cry on the spot. Now, this question is a crime in our religion (known as “performian” to those who practice:p), but I forgave D on the spot ’cause I like her and she has good intentions..so I decided to educate her on the “cry on the spot, now, actor!” command: never ask an actor to cry on the spot. Would you ask your mom to cry on the spot? Why would you ask me? One time, when I was young and naiive, another friend made the same request and I did it, only to feel like a fool afterwards. What kind of socializing is this, when you make a friend cry?

Anyhow, I told D how this very same question was addressed yesterday evening at an acting class I audited by Jeff Seymour, the American cum Canadian film and TV transport. A student mentioned how people always asked her this and he suggested we pull out our index finger, poke them in the eye and then say, ha ha ha see now you’re crying too! you’re an actor too!! ha ha ha cackle cackle cackle. Yes..so, who dares to ask me this question? I’ll make someone cry, that’s for certain..sharpening my nails as we speak:)

So when asked about my favourite directors, I had an answer. I’m not really big on listing my favourite directors the same way I don’t like listing my favourite bands toooo much. You know, music, film, categories and genres…they can all fail you. But then, there are some that you love even if they falter a little bit. I think I finally came to terms with this and started to gather my favourites. I’ve always known I have a love for the band Pulp and..and…that’s about it. That’s the only band I’ll always believe in, and Nirvana, but they don’t count because the main guy is dead.

In terms of directors, I can name several that I like and maybe love–but mind you, this is not the be all and end all of my director list, and once it is, it will be much shorter: Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream, Pi), Michael Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Science of Sleep), David Lynch (Mulholland Drive, Elephant Man), Tim Burton (Big Fish, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), Pedro Almodovar (Volver, La Mala Educacion, Hable con ella) , Frederico Fellini (not 100% on this cat– but loved La Strada and most of La Dolce Vita), Deepa Mehta (Water, Fire)..Upon looking closely into the IMDB profiles of some of these directors, I found that it was often the actors in the movies that I actually loved– like Gael Garcia Bernal, who has been in several movies I’ve enjoyed on this list..and omitted from this list because of a lack of familiarity with the directors. Or Ewan MacGregor, Jennifer Connolly..

The next little while will be spent watchinga number of movies, including Last Tango in Paris, Children of Men, History of Violence, Heaven on Earth, Rudo y Cursi, 8 1/2 and probably many, many more. Oh, and Young People Fucking. I’ve just discovered the convenience of having a TV screen-sized computer in my room with torrent capabilities. Movies in bed!!

read comments (0)

Those of us who wait for the first glimpse of sun are quick to shed the boots and coats and head to our favourite Toronto patios for sangria and calamari. Don’t pretend you don’t do it. I know when we saw the the light a few weeks ago, my friends and I started our lengthy wait in a line up at Black Bull, near Queen and Soho, for 20mins. It was OK for the first little bit, ordering water indoors as others manned the lineup..but we got restless and left the Queen West hood for Little Italy. Our crowd of 4 quickly turned into 6 and then 8. Larger groups are harder to manage but more fun at the end of the night:)

A Little Trek through Little Italy

At Cafe Diplomatico, in Little Italy, we had a little more patience. I lost interest in the restaurant and its patio awhile back after eating a weak pasta there. But I’m also really picky about my pasta, to be honest..So I was open to leaving the resti on this evening, and I started wandering College St. as my friends held the Dip line down..a 40minute wait was ahead, we realized.

I stopped by Vivoli and found nothing. I love their rooftop patio on late summer evenings, when it gets  dim and the salsa music downstairs drifts upwards. But alas, their heated upstairs patio was closed. So I left. I crossed the street to the place directly opposite Cafe Diplomatico and found a really hot, really rude and disinterested bartender. My guy friends and I wondered whether we thought she was hot because she was rude and whether we disliked her for it. Still not sure..

Cafe Diplomatico

Finally got into Cafe Diplomatico, or rather, out on the patio at Cafe Dip and…guess what..I liked the food this time:) So it is a fact, after all, that some restaurants can outdo themselves. If they fail the first few times around! Either way, I will always enjoy their chilled out checkerboard cloth patio table tops. The sangria was also ab fab, and not just because it was pretty to look at. A  white wine sangria is not the easiest drink with which one can woo a visitor, but this one definitely captivated my crew and i. Our one lament was that the sweet array of berries, raspberries and other sangria toppings of otherwise juicy fruit families were frozen. Frozen and not melting anytime soon. But we sucked it up and warmed the fruits with our mouths instead..’cause nothing should get in the way of a good drink. Sometimes, though, you gotta wonder if you’re just really thirsty/hungry/happy to sit down after waiting 40 mins plus for a patio. Mind you, the sun was gone by this time.

Grace Restaurant

Another patio to check out in Toronto’s Little Italy neighbourhood is  Grace. This restaurant is touted as one of the best in Toronto, and I’m looking forward to their Thursday Algoma Smokehouse Barbeque specials, which serves up picnic-style food with a chef’s touch– barbeque ribs, chicken, coleslaw, roasted corn. Grace is definitely on my list of places to check out this summer, as I’ve never eaten here. I’d like to be able to tell you a bit about the food, but all I can say for now is that it was on my former restaurant editor’s top picks list..and I trust her because she seemed to know her food without getting sold on the trends or fashion consciousness of these places. I am also drawn to restaurants and patios with live DJs. What can I say, it makes me feel special when I see a real, live person near the speakers putting some sort of effort into the ambiance. I’m that much closer to an outdoor dancefloor in Goa.

Thursdays at Grace, $10 specials with beer or $5 cocktails and DJs spinning from 8pm to 2am! And guess what, they have their own herb garden rooftop. So if you’re into that whole local food craze, this should fit your needs.  But these toppings will mostly be used in their summer menu and cocktails. Their summer menu seems a little more careful and less rough around the edges than their barbeque offerings. Check out the menu on their site, Grace Restaurant.

The Drake Hotel

Though people love to hate on this place, or love to give this place excessive credit, I will affirm that it is a hangout if ever you need to satisfy people coming from several different directions. I can easily take my anti-everything hater friends here with my uppity friends who like to see the ‘be seen’ places alongside the hipster friends that..ok, I don’t have many hipster friends (not that there’s anything wrong with that;) or is there? next topic of discussion, now!) …yeah so the rooftop patio is totally enigmatic. There are nights where it’s dead, save for a light drizzling rain and a fantastic conversation illuminated by heat lamps, afternoons when you can watch fashionable couples canoodling on the couch, of course behind the guise and shield of sunglasses..

so, I’ve had some really good times at The Drake, memorable to say the least..with all sorts of characters, from actors to musicians, hairdressers, good friends, highschool friends..I think you can really do it all here. And if you feel like dancing, head to the basement and visit the underground, where there’s always a DJ or band doing something. One warning—summer and spring lineups can get horrendous at this place. So either go early or make sure you know someone! But totally worth it!

Mother’s Day at The Drake

They’re doing stuff this weekend for Mother’s Day–a “soul food” brunch, so to say.. Live music is performed by Treasa Levasseur and friends. I don’t know how much of a delight it will be, though–they’re serving the buffet breakast in the basement, which tends to get dark and which I can foresee as being a little claustrophobic. Whatevz, if you’re into that, then do it. The food sounds good: fried chicken, waffles, baked goods and maple ham and apples…but that’s the kinda stuff I’d like to be eating on the rooftop:) I don’t know what their excuse is for not welcoming mothers up to the roof!

Boiler House Brunch

If you really wanna take your mom to a good Mother’s Day brunch somewhere in Toronto this weekend, I totally suggest and support the movement towards the Boiler House in the Distillery. That’s a mother’s sorta area, not to mention the restaurant itself is a pleasant experience. Boiler House offers a buffet brunch, but not the kinda slimey buffet where you feel everything is mashed together without care. The poached eggs don’t fall apart, the makings for a good caprice salad are not at all soggy and everything feels sorta..freshly made just in time for your arrival. Enjoy! Plus, the place offers a lot of privacy if you’re going for a one-on-one with mom, or a date if you’re too cool for moms. It’s a large venue and not the sort of joint where you can eavesdrop on conversations. Sunday brunch is accompanied by afternoon jazz. Anyhow, I think Mother’s Day would be nicely topped off with some window shopping in the Distillery area. Just because there are lots of knick knacks to ooh and ahh over, kitchen stores, little boutique-style stops and small art rooms to peruse. Something, once again, for every mom.

Alright I’m out..hope y’all find somewhere to sit under the sun this weekend, with your mom or at the very least, someone elses [very hot?] mom.

read comments (3)

The travel bug has infected me again, and I am tempted to leave but just as pressed to stay. I want to stay because several things are putting me on the edge of my seat. You know, when you plan enough seeds, and it rains enough along the way…something oughta sprout, yeah? So right now, I see these little sprigs of green among the weeds. But everyone is pitching trips my way, tempting me with everything from free flights and rides to ghetto style roadtrips (which I absolutely adore and live for, moreso than airports and speedy arrivals)…..

I want to visit NYC, Montreal, Vancouver, Spain, Morocco, India, Dubai..this year…hahah.. And, somehow, I will get to at least a few of those, even with weekend missions. I think traveling is what keeps me breathing. I read TimeOut Dubai and re-live the restaurants and the humidity. I leaf through TimeOut New York (yes, I thumb and dogear the pages online), reading about the hip spots and all the people that frequent them…and think about all the randoms I met in the few nights I was there last summer. I find people from that city very interesting, maybe narcissistic but who isn’t these days..I think a lot of them have the right, what with all the crazy things they’re up to.. Besides, in such a big city where one must compete with the greyness of those Everest-high buildings, it is paramount that personalities stand out, beat the odds and make an impression. Anyway, if you’ve never met someone from New York, just go to Time Out New York’s singles section and read about the people that inhabit those streets.

But speaking of skyscraper personalities, my friend Lindsay was saying the other day that he finds people in Toronto are much taller than those in Montreal, where he used to live. Standing in a streetcar, he has to look up to see the faces of those beside him. His theory, therefore, is that alpha personalities and alpha body types gravitate to Toronto’s cut-throat, competitive centre, which is always throbbing with productivity and action. This further corroborated the conversations shared with my Montreal univ friends who’d stayed in the city for four years…I dare not discuss the topic in depth with Montreal natives;)

Montreal, in comparison, is a lot more “laissez-faire” than Toronto. The combination of Montreal’s “laissez-faire” attitude and celebrated “joie de vivre” has been both the prize and downfall of this lovely city I spent four years in. In the hereafter, longing for la petite ville does not gnaw at you and, I think, once one leaves its moist, comforting womb..it is hard to return.

I must sleep, I know I am leaving my sentences bare, but I am just trying to conquer writer’s block and this is where it begins and ends.  Personally, I’m attracted to type A personalities and am, myself, a mix of AB…so I think my ideal city should be an A or AB.. god, typifying cities and people is confusing..sleep..beckon. Twitter is really neat. I’ll admit I’m a bit hooked. It’s open territory for stalkers and readers like me. I can see what everyone in the world is doing.

read comments (1)

Can’t wait for the Scott Pilgrim movie! Edward Wright (previously directed Hot Fuzz, Grindhouse, etc.) is in Toronto shooting and posting video blogs on the official Scott Pilgrim website. Starring Brampton’s own Michael Cera (Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Superbad, etc.) as Scott Pilgrim, the comic book and movie are based in Toronto, with joints like Honest Ed’s and Sneaky Dee’s making appearances in the film. WEEE!

For those who haven’t heard about the comic book series, it’s a collection of five comics by Brian Lee O’Malley, an artist and writer who once lived in Toronto. The lead character, Scott Pilgrim, falls head over heels for Ramona Flowers. But Ramona has a lot of skeletons in her closet. Scott must defeat all of Ramona’s 7 evil ex-boyfriends in order to keep the affection of his rollerblading Amazon delivery girlfriend Ramona.

The movie calls for a lot of Canadian talent and American talent. I’m glad the lead is played by Michael Cera, though my diehard Scott Pilgrim-fan friends have been a little unsure of the actor’s ability to play Scott Pilgrim. Cera’s known to play awkward, endearing sorts, while Pilgrim is a bit more suave than the Nick and Evan characters Cera’s played in the past. But, I give Cera the benefit of the doubt–he’s adorable and I’m sure he has that confidence and coolness Pilgrim embodies in every comic cell he inhabits.

Anyway, being from Toronto myself, I love seeing little reminders of my city– a library, a restaurant, bars we’ve hung out at. I am even quite certain that, were Scott Pilgrim a real person, he would’ve lived in my house! Half the time, the streets he walks down look like mine. And I can say this because Toronto streets don’t really all look the same.

You know, I’ll tell you something that sucks–I HEARD of an extras casting back in March and didn’t go because I’m too bratty to take extra roles. Then I realized it was the Scott Pilgrim movie and sobbed! What I would give to be a tree in that movie, simply so I can say I was featured in a movie with Scott Pilgrim! Provided I don’t get edited out. Imagine, being immortalized alongside a comic book character incarnate. That’s like being one of the girls Archie checks out at the beach.

F’real though, Scott Pilgrim is a very funny and cute comic to read. I find myself chuckling on the subway at all the corny scenes that take place in the series. Brian Lee O’Malley relays his corny sense of humour through his drawing, and not just through the dialogue. You’d have to read it to know what I’m talking about. So what are you still doing here? Go out and read it before the movie comes out! Come on, you know the books are always better than the movie!

read comments (0)

The times when I take cabs and public transit are far too enjoyable. Is it silly? I don’t know..I guess these are the scenarios and people around whom I can relax most. I don’t need airs with cab drivers or people sitting in seats beside me in cramped quarters. I can say what’s on my mind and never have to bother about making a good impression.

I was in a cab a couple of weeks ago and we both lamented over the weak employment insurance system and how we both were not receiving the government services for which we’d paid. It was such easy back and forth conversation, I felt like I was talking to an old friend. As I got out of the cab, the driver voiced the same sentiments I’d felt throughout the ride: “You know, ma’am, I really enjoyed talking to you. It was just so easy…”..I pranced on air towards the elevator..to think, I don’t imagine these meetings of minds!

Tonight, the cab driver who dropped me home was so very kind. We talked about Indian movies, the industry… I guess the extent of my fallacies was feigning knowledge of some Indian actors’  whose work I didn’t know but with whose I names I was familiar. He was so positive, though! He motivated me, dispelling my fears! I found myself confiding in him..A mere stranger.. We were talking about acting, his children, his wife..how he’d claimed refugee status on false terms..lol..I know, it’s bad, it’s totally effing with the system..but hey, he got through it…I’m sure worse things have been done.

Anyway, I actually climbed out of the car feeling like I could do anything. Maybe I’m corny and I’ve been reading too much from Mustard Seed and the Gospels according to Thomas..but I do feel connected with a force within, these days..

read comments (2)

As part of the 31 Days to Build a Better Blog Series, as hosted by ProBlogger, I am writing an elevator pitch for my blog. An elevator pitch is the gist of my blog and its hoo ha in the time it takes before exiting the elevator.

Tagline: (A 20-something’s perspectives on the real world and cyber world)

“From the eyes of a 20-something Generation Y’er, read about my observational experiences in the real world, arts reviews and my take on growing internet phenomena like social networking and SEO. I occasionally discuss politics and current events–as seen fit! From observational and anecdotal to news writing or poetry, my blog is unique for those who want to see personality and share some semblance of a relationship with me as a writer. Think of Carolime.com as your friend, your ex you can’t talk to or a familiar, extended coffee date.”

read comments (0)

blank board splintered on the side of the road sticking a nail out, departed from the thumb shouting for space on an already-hitched ride, stop. sitting on a discarded log left dried to the side, rising hurriedly at the roar of an engine. life passes by, shiny and new. slows down, backs up, rolls down a window. behind tinted glass, an eye, no, a shade peeks out, assessing the situation and the circumstances. can i step in? is there space in your trunk for a spare piece of me? a blank board? sand me down, shape me up, make me like new, paint me up, i’d look best in red, glossy. thrown in, gratefully amid peers, semblance of life and others that look exactly the same, in other shades of cherry, red, tomato, burnt in the heat to a brown, dried crust of blood, hanging from a nail, sticking out from a trunk of life, passing by.

thought skimping, be kind to me, i’m trying to catch up

read comments (0)